Coffee in a can ☕
I review four flavors of the ubiquitous La Colombe Draft Latte. Plus, homemade fudgesicles.
Hello and welcome back to Five Things I Ate! This week, we try several different flavors of canned coffee, and more. Check out past posts here, and please follow my Instagram @fivethingsiate.
La Colombe Mocha Draft Latte at Whole Foods
I’ve seen these at Target and Trader Joe’s, too.
There is nothing that is more delightful to me in the grocery store than the Non-Alcoholic Sparkling Canned Beverage. I do not care that some grocery store design psychologist is trapping me by putting all the cool cans near the checkout line. I delight in being trapped by my favorite frivolous purchase, which, I argue, when it is caffeinated, is not frivolous at all. So, when all the canned coffees were 25% off at Whole Foods, you can bet your bottom dollar I filled my cart with a draft latte of each flavor. So far, my favorite of the bunch is the Mocha Draft Latte. This comes as a total surprise to myself – as I don’t think I’ve ever ordered a mocha, either hot or iced, IRL. Usually, I prefer my coffee like I prefer my ice cream – with creamy, caramel, or fruit flavors. But somehow, the chocolate flavor works here – the tightly carbonated, barely-fizzy nitro latte has a really nice mouthfeel, like a rich chocolate milk, or a cream soda – one that I don’t mind drinking for breakfast.
La Colombe Original Draft Latte made with Oatmilk at Whole Foods
Available at other places, see above.
Why do I have such a love-hate relationship with oat milk? I sort of hate it on principle (milk should not be oats-carb-water!), but as you can see in the fudgesicle recipe below, it keeps popping up in my life, and my fridge. Anyways, the first time I tried this draft latte from La Colombe cafe, I hated it. It felt wayyy too foamy and slimy to me. But somehow, a year later, a few cans sneaked into my basket. I am honestly not sure if I enjoy this much more than the cafe version on tap because of my obsession with compactness and reproducibility, or if the recipe is significantly different than in the cafe. But I found the canned oatmilk draft latte much more palatable; tasty, even. Draft lattes aren’t fooling me; I know that they’re basically creamy coffee soda. But, when I get to pour into my own favorite glass (which is from Fishs Eddy, unfortunately I can’t find the link!), with a few cubes of ice, and slurp it with a metal straw, the sweetness works and the slimy factor entirely disappears.
La Colombe Vanilla Draft Latte made with Oatmilk AND La Colombe Original Double shot Draft Latte at Whole Foods
Available at other places, see above.
It’s VERY rare that I feature TWO foods in one entry, but it’s also very rare that I feel perfectly equally average about two things I eat or drink. That’s how I feel about both the vanilla flavored oatmilk draft latte, and the original (doubleshot) draft latte. I really can’t tell what’s so vanilla bout the vanilla oatmilk draft latte, except that it’s, well, vanilla. Usually I really dislike using the word “vanilla” derisively; (it’s the best ice cream flavor), but here, it seems to work. Similarly, the original doubleshot latte felt a little too much like canned milk to me. Again, perfectly drinkable, but perfectly 5/10.
Pontaluna Punch at La Colombe, the physical cafe
This coffee did not come in a can, but it was so interesting I felt I needed to write about it. I did not order a full serving of this Pontaluna Punch, but I did try a sample that left me still thinking about it weeks later. It’s sort of the opposite of the two coffees above; I would imagine you can’t really feel neutral about frothy coldbrew with cherry juice. I have never had a cherry flavored coffee in my life (blueberry is the best fruit flavor for coffee, and it’s surprisingly good!), and the tartness was an interesting touch. In general, I’m still more in favor of creamy (vs fruity or black) coffee drinks, and I really can’t imagine adding cream to fizzy cold brew with cherry juice without it clotting (maybe I’m wrong). Surprisingly, it had a sort of milky mouthfeel, though.
Homemade extra-chocolatey fudgesicles at home
Recipe from Food52.
Finally, for something Not-Coffee: Inspired by Sara’s very informative popsicle post last week, I decided to order popsicle molds on my own. In true Gemini fashion, after making fun of the Trader Joe’s oatmilk fudgesicles on blast, I also can’t stop eating or craving them. So, I decided to take matters into my own hands by outsourcing the fudgesicle manufacturing to myself. This Best Fudgesicle recipe is not fucking around. Please be warned, although this recipe is simple, it is unlike any fudgscile you’ve ever eaten – pretty much the dark twin of the Trader Joe’s oatmilk pops. These fudgsicles are extremely dark and chocolatey, basically like a fudge brownie in icy form. I used oatmilk, and made ⅓ of the recipe for my four popsicle molds.
Stay plenty caffeinated (and have a great day off!),
Soph
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