The PMS edition
Sugary snacks ONLY 🥦🙅🏻♀️
This week, Five Things I Ate is TIRED and needs sugar. If you’re new, check out past posts here, and make sure to follow my Instagram @fivethingsiate.
Cadbury Dairy Milk with Oreo at my office
Technically, you can buy this in the States — but the internet says it’d be wrong
As an old man who likes good and I mean good chocolate once said, “this is good stuff.” He also says the reason it’s so good is not because it’s literally the best combination of sweet things ever, Oreo cream and Cadbury milk chocolate, but because “it’s approved by the queen.” It’s a relief to know that this Oreo cream-filled dreamy milk chocolate bar is approved by the crown, because, unbeknownst to me, this is apparently the source of no small controversy. Thanks, internet man.
Green & Black’s organic dark chocolate, 70%
Most larger grocery stores, including Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s
In addition to facial mist*, approximately 50 tinted chapsticks in almost the exact same shade of peachy coral, and dry shampoo, I try to have a bar of dark chocolate in my backpack at all times. Although it may not make me look more presentable in a pinch, the dark chocolate plays the very essential role of preventing me from transforming from a person who’s just realized that she’s not going to get dinner for another hour to a broken, argumentative, and weepy person, which is what happens when I am hangry and no one saved me from myself**. I try to change up what kind of emergency chocolate I buy, but Green & Black’s is my favorite and most reliable pick. This is plain dark chocolate that actually satisfies me without fancy mix-ins or flavors, is smooth and creamy without ever being chalky. It’s not too sweet, which is important because it doesn’t make me crash on an empty stomach.
*Which I’m beginning to suspect is just water...
**This is a very hard thing to do because when I tip into hangry zone I also lose my ability to communicate properly.
Pistachio & caramel sorbet from SorBabes
Select grocery stores, which you can find via this search engine
My freezer is home to a rag-tag collection of half-finished pints of non-dairy ice cream, which I’ve collected in the name of science. My hypothesis is that one day I’ll find a non-dairy ice cream that’s just as satisfying as the real thing* (smooth and creamy, not icy; full-flavored, but not overly sweet), and because I don’t want that MIT education to go to waste, observational data collection is the route I’m aiming for. But this week, my experimental design was challenged when I picked up a container of pistachio sorbet on a whim. It was so good, salty-sweet and streaked with caramel, it made me wonder I’ve framed the question incorrectly all along. Perhaps the key to finding a great non-dairy “ice cream” is to avoid the label altogether, and stick to sorbet.
*I do like [FoMu]** but it’s a Boston-based chain, and nothing can ever drag me back to that hellish quaint little academic snowscape, not even good ice cream.
** I do not know why the name is stylized this way either!
Chestnut cream cake at Pan Ya (by proxy of Sunrise Mart, my second home)
2213, 494 Broome St, New York, NY 10013
Look, I get that “chestnuts roasting on an open fire” has a nice ring to it, but what we should really all be singing about are “chestnuts pureed into a cream layer cake.” Chestnuts are such a lovely ingredient in desserts, I don’t know why they aren’t more popular in American baking. Thankfully, Asian-French bakeries got us covered. You can find a variation of mont blanc at most Japanese cafés. I picked up a slice of chestnut cream cake at Sunrise Mart while I was getting lunch, but then I decided to eat it for lunch instead. I have no regrets. It was great.
Henry Hotspur’s Hard Pressed for Cider in Rosé
Your local Trader Joe’s
This is a very straightforward cider with an extremely gimmicky name you’re just going to have to excuse. After all, it’s from Trader Joe’s and honestly we should all just be thankful it isn’t “ethnic” food, otherwise it’d be called Trader José or Trader Ming’s rosé or some other vaguely troubling name. And as much as it pained me to type that pun and alliteration-filled line above, I have to admit that this was a great after work impulse purchase. It’s a pretty shade of pink, made with just apples, hibiscus flowers, and rose petals (which is a very poetic list of ingredients), and only has five grams of sugar a bottle, which is probably less than how much kombucha has. Also, at eight dollars for a six pack, it’s a hell of a lot cheaper than kombucha. I’m not saying you should ditch your health food drink for hard cider, but I’m also saying it’s better bang for your buck ;)
Till next time,
Soph