The adventures of a Bodega Cat

My Top 5 bodega orders. Notice there is no BEC.

Hello and welcome back to Five Things I Ate! These week, I share my most frequently ordered items. Five Things I Ate. Read past posts here, and please follow my Instagram, @fivethingsiate.  

Chicken cutlet hero NO CHEESE, ADD AVOCADO, on a roll

Try this at your local bodega, and see how it turns out.

My local bodega has no cat, so I thought I would volunteer. While I can’t catch mice I have caught and destroyed many mice in my time, it is probably more useful to you for me to share my favorite food orders, since I have been cursed blessed with the gift of speech. Coming in at #1 is my top sandwich order, the Chicken cutlet hero NO CHEESE, ADD AVOCADO, on a roll. I have no idea why, but I find fried chicken and cheese to be an absolutely blursed combo (but cheese on burgers as absolutely fine), so I always swap the cheese for avocado, even though, as every bodega guy at every bodega I’ve ordered this from in the past five years has warned me, I’ll still be charged extra. This is the perfect hot sandwich, IMO. Crispy chicken patties never get old and because there’s avocado it feels a little less greasy and a little less dry than if I’d left the cheese in. Also, make sure to get lettuce tomato mayonnaise.

Cheeseburger with a side of onion rings

I swear the bodega burger >> restaurant burger.

Ok, so I kind of lied, because if you count a cheeseburger as a sandwich, then my #1 order of all time is in fact the cheeseburger. I feel like I don’t need to go into detail because I already wrote a whole newsletter about bodega burgers, which you can go back and read. If your bodega has those amazing extra-crispy double-fried fries, you know what I’m talking about, the ones with the crispy edges and bits, then by all means get fries. Otherwise, I’m sticking with onion rings. I totally forgot all about the existence of onion rings until earlier this summer, but they’re one of my favorite fried foods. Will I tire of them in a few weeks? Possibly, but until then, they’re going with all my burgers.

The California (Grilled chicken, avocado, lettuce, tomato, roasted peppers and ranch (on a roll))

Try this out and see what happens.

One thing about the word California, as applied to a menu, is that nobody knows what the fuck that means. I feel that it vaguely means “with avocado”, but it could also mean “grilled not fried”, or in this case, it means roasted red peppers and ranch?! So if you are to try this sandwich, please spell it out for the deli guy, and don’t just say “The California,” even though that’s what I saw it labeled as on at one of the bodegas near me. I was a little skeptical about this combo (ranch is not my default condiment choice, and I usually want fried/cold cut > grilled chicken) but I have to say it works. Plus, it’s cheese free, because we all know how I feel about the chicken-cheese sandwich combo.

Turkey with provolone and lettuce tomato honey mustard (on a roll)

A classic.

I never explained this “on a roll” business so I will get it out of the way now: I like everything better on a roll. For those who are not blessed to live among the rats and trash bags of NYC, when I say roll I mean this. The reason is two-fold: 1) round, 2) it makes the sandwich smaller and more manageable. Anyways, my classic “I want some not-spicy food” order is turkey with provolone and all the works. If you are in a proper deli, you should get this with oil and vinegar, but I like mine with honey mustard when I’m at the bodega.

Coke Zero, in bottle form

Available everywhere.

Coke Zero is my soda of choice but to be frank with you I have no idea if I like it or not. It’s just my comfort order, does that make sense? I think it tastes better than Diet Coke, and I actually like the flavor more than regular Coke. I feel like it technically does not count as a food. When I get a craving for those sweet sweet nothing chemicals, I grab a bottle (not can) of Coke Zero. Usually I open the bottle, take a few sips, then I put it in the fridge where it goes flat for the next week.

XOXO,

Soph

P.S. What’s your favorite bodega order? You can let me know by replying to this email.

P.P.S. I will be out of the country for the next 10 days in Greece, so expect to hear from me upon my return.