Internet controversy chicken 🐓

In which I consume a whole bamboo forest and I make controversial Twitter chicken in the rice cooker.

Hello and welcome back to Five Things I Ate! This week, I make magical lemon cake and summon the ocean with a stew. Check out past posts here, and please follow my Instagram @fivethingsiate. 

Japanese Chicken Curry Dry Ramen at Jin Ramen

462 Amsterdam Ave, New York, NY 10024

After reading through the Hunter S. Thompson-esque romp through carb land that is legendary New Yorker writer Jiayang Fan’s 3,000 calories a day Grub Street diet, I no longer feel guilty about consuming leftover fried chicken on ramen noodles at 12AM on a Saturday night while standing in my kitchen (which, I guess, could technically be any part of my single-room apartment). I feel only certainty that any late night meal I eat will be nothing but a mere shadow of whatever Jiayang will be eating even later tonight, or early morning, and far less spicy. As a tribute to her mad genius, I devoured the entire bowl of Japanese chicken curry dry ramen that I ordered from Jin Ramen, and it was a total delight. I’m not sure why it didn’t occur to me to order chicken curry ramen before, as it combines all three of my favorite cravings: Fried chicken (in the form of chicken katsu), Japanese curry, and noodles (the best carb). Well now I have,  and now I know, and now I will definitely order again.

Ginger-soy sauteed winter bamboo at home

It can be made in your home, too.

Bamboo is the only comfort food I know of that can also double as a house. I love fresh bamboo so much -- if you can stumble upon spring bamboo, tender shoots -- or you are so brave, like some aunties I know, to dig them up from Nice White Neighbors’ backyards -- please alert me immediately. But because I’m less bold, I stick to winter bamboo, that charmingly oversized, tender shoot you can find at your local Asian mart. It’s usually frozen or vacuum sealed; for the love of god please don’t get canned unless it’s a garnish. Once you obtain the said beast, slice it in half hot-dog style, then in half and in half again, then into thirds hamburger-wise. Meanwhile, heat up some veggie oil in a hot stainless steel skillet or wok; peel and finely slice a knob of ginger into strips. Throw the ginger in the hot oil until it bubbles; throw in the bamboo shoots, followed by light soy sauce, a spoonful of sugar, and stir-fry until the sugar caramelizes. Finish with a drop of sesame oil. Eat it all, by yourself, at midnight with a glass of white wine. That is my dessert.

Magical lemon pudding cake at home, at midnight

Recipe adapted from NYT Cooking.

This lemon pudding cake is magical for several reasons: It’s magical because what goes in as a (slightly runny) cake batter turns into a layer of floaty light cake over lemony custard, giving you a two-for-one dessert. It’s also magical because it tastes really fancy, like a souffle, when you only need eight basic ingredients. Finally, the most magical thing about this cake is that I made it using a cheap latte frother to whip four egg whites to soft peaks in a plastic cup and it still turned out great. (No, I don’t have a whisk or a mixer; yes, I live a decrepit bachelor lifestyle when left unsupervised.) It also wins the “not-too-sweet” Asian dessert superlative award. And did I mention it’s beautiful, with a beautiful golden crust that makes it great for company/Instagram, in these times? It’s basically the essence of an angel food cake, chilling over a pool of lemon curd, two of my favorite things. Check out the recipe at NYT Cooking, or if you’re not a subscriber, you can find this classic recipe elsewhere by the magic of the search engine ;)

Rice cooker Hainanese chicken rice recipe at home

Recipe adapted from Tasty.

If you hang out too much on Twitter (aka you work in, or worked in and rage quit your job in media), then you might be aware of the Bad Chicken Tweet. If you have no idea what I’m talking about you probably have less mental baggage than me and that is Good and you should keep doing what you’re doing. But anyways, this journalist made a Bad Tweet dissing Hainanese chicken rice and all the Asian ppl on Twitter jumped on it and it was both dumb and good I guess because then all of a sudden I remembered that Hainanese chicken rice exists and it’s so fking good. Making proper Hainanese chicken rice is a delicate art which I will not attempt at this moment because I am tired, but steaming chicken over rice in my tiny-ass rice cooker is both simple and satisfies my craving. I was kind of shocked at how good this was, tbh. I left the miso out in the dipping sauce because it seemed wrong. Also, this yields about 4x as much rice as you need, which is exactly how much rice you need <3. You can find the recipe on Tasty.

“Super Chinese”* seaweed and chicken stew at home

Wherever home is for you, preferably in close access to a Chinatown.

After a long day where I found myself self-soothing by shopping in Chinatown, I filled my apartment with the smells of the sea by stewing down a pound of fresh kelp (hai dai/还带) in a huge stock pot with half a dozen chicken drumsticks, shaoxing wine, soy sauce, and a spoonful of sugar. If you are lucky enough to find fresh [hai dai] at the grocery store, please buy some in my name. When you puncture the plastic wrap on the tray, the smell of salty sea waves immediately hits your nose, and transports you back to the ocean shore. This is no instant pot -- it’s a rather slow soup, and will take about 2 hours to come together. Halfway through the process, I threw in half a bag of deep-fried tofu puffs; 10 minutes before finishing, 2 bundles of soba noodles. It’s the only aromatherapy dispenser I need.

*I call it such because it’s made out of my favorite earthy comfort foods that I don’t really see on take-out menus; also because I apologized for the smell of my apartment/the stew when I had a visitor drop by, which I really shouldn’t have, and now I will go sit in a corner and examine my internalized racism good night.

XOXO,

Soph